after blogging for tumblr for a looong time, i've been thinking to return to xanga because it's more private.

the thing is.. the recession is starting to hit EVERYWHERE and i mean everywhere. just today, i bought nail polish and mascara from the drugstore. i was so stupid and came home wt. the receipt still in my bag. my mom saw it and started making a big hell out of it: how the restaurant might close and how much money we're only making: $700. then, i don't know what happened, but i thought she died.. she started coughing a lot and her head fell to the sink and she starting moaning. OMG it was the most terrifying moment of life. i'm so scared about what is to come to my family. i mean, i've been wasting too much money on makeup and jewelry and clothes. i got enough of all that already and it is about time i stopped wasting so much money and at least make my parents proud. i don't want to be poor. PLEASE GOD! PLEASE GRANDPA! please don't let this happen to us! :(

as if that wasn't enough, kunphen just probably doesn't like me..of course, he doesn't. probably because i'm a fat-butted, non-tibetan, unpopular ugly chink. and yet, i don't know why i even decided to consider staying on the track team/handball team just for him.. i mean, can't i be interested in other guys? there's richard, joshua, etc.
anyway, i need to finish my homework, bye for now..so much for a happy week :'(

OMG! I just got home 3 hours ago from my very first track tryout! I had to admit that it is a lot of really intense work! It is like going to a military boot camp! 100 push-ups! 100 crunches! 100 laps around the gym! But now, I feel healthier than I've ever had before! I just can't wait until Kellie & Samantha join too, I sure need sister support! The problem is now I still want to see Ryan, even though he can be a dick. I caught him looking my way during lab today and Samuel seemed shy or flustered when I gave him gum today. I don't know if that's a good thing or not. I sure hope it is because he doesn't even talk to his friend anymore. I need to keep strong. I can't get nowhere if I keep on thinking about guys too much, so I need to transform into my best-self starting now! I'm just gonna focus on academics, staying fit & my looks. NO MORE BOYS!

Wow..it has been such a looong time since I've blogged. But anyway, I am here to talk about my love life, of course. It actually went downhill. Now that I realize Ryan isn't exactly the type of guy I want, I feel more free-spirited than ever. I mean, who wants to look perfect for a guy every single day?! I find Ryan very highly critical when it comes to girls. He criticizes their profile pictures and rejected two of my friends, Christy and Andrea. Every single girl I talk to about him, agree that he is a jerk. Yup, me and Andrea made fun of Ryan giving out free samples of chicken teriyaki in the food court (serves him right if that really happens!). And also, I also got to know the cute-ish guy next to me in my geometry class. His name is Kunfen.. or something like that. He speaks Hindi and is from Tibet. I think he is sooo much better for me because he actually cared that he made me sick and he remembered my name when I don't even know his! So now, I feel like we could be great friends and maybe something even more later! :)

OK my new style: I need some boots, major boots! I've decided on one of those buckled wraparounds, a Western tan leater boot, and maybe metallic silver UGGs. As for my style, I would like to start by dressing more couture-ish, looking into runway stuff. I should wear more pearls and cardigans and blouses! Forget trying to impress guys! I don't need a man for now!